Fear And The Four Stages Of Love
Fear is a negativity, an absence. This has to be understood very, very deeply. If you miss there you will never be able to understand the nature of fear. It is like darkness. Darkness does not exist, it only appears to be. In fact it is just an absence of light. Light exists; remove the light – there is darkness.
Darkness does not exist, you cannot remove darkness. Do whatsoever you want to do, you cannot remove darkness. You cannot bring it, you cannot throw it. If you have to do something with darkness, you will have to do something with light, because only something which has an existence can be related to. Put the light off, darkness is there; put the light on, darkness is not there – but you do something with LIGHT. You cannot do anything with darkness.
Fear is darkness. It is absence of love. You cannot do anything about it, and the more you do, the more you will become fearful because then the more you will find it impossible.
The problem will become more and more complicated. If you fight with darkness you will be defeated. You can bring a sword and try to kill the darkness: you will only be exhausted. And, finally, the mind will think: Darkness is so powerful, that’s why I am defeated.
This is where logic goes wrong. It is absolutely logical that if you have been struggling with darkness and you could not defeat it, could not destroy it; it is absolutely logical to come then to the conclusion that darkness is very, very powerful. I am impotent before it. But the reality is just the opposite. You are not impotent, darkness is impotent. In fact darkness is not there – that’s why you could not defeat it. How can you defeat something which is not?
Don’t fight with the fear otherwise you will become more and more afraid: and a new fear will enter into your being, that is: fear of fear, which is very dangerous. In the first place fear is absence and in the second place the fear of fear is the fear of the absence of absence. Then you go into a madness. You have taken a wrong step.
Fear is nothing but absence of love. Do something with love, forget about fear. If you love well, fear disappears. If you love deeply, fear is not found. Whenever you have been in love with someone, ever for a single moment, was there any fear? It has never been found in any relationship – if even for a single moment two persons are in deep love and a meeting happens, they are tuned to each other, in that moment fear has never been found. Just as if the light is on and darkness has not been found There is the secret key: Love more. If you feel there is fear in your being – love more. Be courageous in love, take courage. Be adventurous in love, love more, and love unconditionally, because the more you love the less will be the fear. And when I say love I mean all the four layers of love: from sex to samadhi.
Fear of love
There are two ways of life. A: dominated by fear, the other: oriented towards love.
Living dominated by fear will not ever lead to a deep relationship. Remains frightened and not tolerate the other, not allowing others to get to your center. Give him permission to a certain point – then there is a wall and everything stops.
The person-oriented love is a religious person. A person-oriented, love is a person who is not afraid of the future that is not afraid of the results and consequences, who lives here and now.
If you can live in this moment, in the present moment, in this fullness, then you know only love. Love is a rare flower. It blooms only occasionally. Millions and millions of people living in the false belief of being in love. They think they love, but it is only their idea.
Love is a rare flower blooms for only when there is no fear, never before. This means that love can happen only in a deeply spiritual, religious. Sex is for everyone, for all knowledge is superficial. Love does not.
Only when you do not feel afraid, then there is nothing to hide, then you open yourself, then you can eliminate all boundaries. Then you can invite others to penetrate your heart.
And remember: if you allow someone to penetrate deeply, the other will allow you to do so, because when you let someone penetrate, create confidence. When you’re not afraid, the other becomes fearless.
In the love that we see around us today, the fear is too often present. Her husband is afraid of his wife, the wife is afraid of her husband. Gl’innamorati are always afraid. Not open, do not eliminate the boundaries. But this is not love. It is only a contract between two people afraid, that depend on each other, you fight, exploit, they control, dominate and possess – but not love.
If you let love happen, no need of prayers, there is no need for meditation, you do not need no church, no temple. Through love you will all happened: meditation, prayer, god. You will all happened. This is what Jesus means when he says: Love is God. But love is difficult. We must abandon fear. And this is strange: you scared but you have nothing to lose.
What have you got to lose? Nothing. This body will be taken by death. Before being taken by death, and make a gift of love. Everything that you will be removed. Before you being removed, why not share it? This is the only way to really own it. Are you capable of giving and sharing, you’re the master. You will be removed. There is nothing that you can keep forever. Death will destroy everything.
So, if you understood what I said, the struggle between love and death. If you can donate, there is death. Before you something is closed, will have already donated, you will have a gift. There can be no death. For those who love there is no death.
So is this fear? Why you so afraid?
Even if you found out everything about you and you become like an open book, why be afraid? In what way can this hurt? I’m just misconceptions, data conditioning by society – that you have to hide, you must protect, you need to be constantly on guard, all are enemies, they are all against you.
There is nothing to fear. This must be understood before it can happen a real relationship. There is nothing to fear.
Meditaci about. And then allowing others to join you, invite them to join. Do not create barriers to nowhere, becomes a passage always open, no doors, no locks. Then love is possible.
When two centers meet, comes a new thing. This new thing is love. And it is like water – the thirst of many, many lives will be fulfilled. Suddenly you feel satisfied.
What is the visible sign of love, you feel happy, like I have achieved everything you want. There is nothing left to achieve now; you arrived at our destination. There is another destination, destiny was fulfilled. The seed has become a flower, has come to full bloom.
A deep contentment is the visible sign of love. Whenever a person is in love, you feel deeply satisfied. Love can not be seen, but contentment, deep satisfaction all round … every breath, every action, his very being and contentment.
You can be surprised when I say that love makes you free from desires, but the desire is dissatisfaction. Would it not have. Because you think that if you want something, you’ll be pleased. The desire comes from discontent.
But when there is love and the two centers met, merged and dissolved, and was born a new quality of alchemy, you feel satisfied. It is as if the whole existence had stopped – no more movement. Then, the moment this is the only time.
why you say love makes you want to disappear. Be brave, liberated from fear, be open. Let the center of another met with what is in you and through this rebirth, it will create a new quality of being.
If there is love, really feel for the first time the existence of God and all creation is a blessing. But there is much to destroy before possible. Much must be destroyed before this is possible. You have to kill anything that creates barriers within yourself.
You love a sadhana, an inner discipline. Do not allow it to be just a frivolous thing, do not let the mind is just a job. Do not allow it to be only one satisfaction of the body. Make it an inner search.
The key starting point is this: you must allow the other to penetrate even into the deepest recesses of your underwear, to the foundation of your being. The destruction of the ego is the goal. From any door to enter the inner world – love, meditation, yoga, prayer – whatever path you choose, the goal is the same: the destruction of ego, throw away the ego. Through love can be done very easily, and is so natural! Love is the natural religion.